I came across a television commercial recently that was communicating the virtues of a certain product by metaphorically comparing all its goodness to a “California Orange” and at the same time urging us to be wary of cheap imitations whose lesser qualities were being compared with a “Nagpur Orange” ma.nifesting the famous self flagellating Indian habit

Are We Blunting Our Children’s “India Advantage”

Now, I am quite sure that both the varieties are equally good and that the Lord God who made it all never imagined such a temporal comparison. But it got me thinking about this unique Indian habit of disparaging everything that is Indian especially when compared with something foreign or more so in front of a foreigner. Unique because I haven’t seen this manifest in anyone from Polynesia to Central Africa

In my view, If there were a Top -10 list of the most annoying habits of Indians, I am sure self flagellating would list somewhere near the top

Observe a group of people with at least one foreigner in their midst an you will know what I mean.  The nationality of the foreigner is not important. From Alaska to Auckland or from Zagreb to Zanzibar, the essential condition being, he has to be a Non-Indian. The setting can be a social do, an office party or even a casual group of strangers at the airport or inside a train compartment

Now observe the flow of conversation. Once the pleasantries are over, few members of the group or at least one of them (we shall call him the protagonist) takes it upon himself, with gusto, the responsibility of making the foreigner “feel at home”…

As a first step in this “making-him-feel-at-home” venture, the protagonist lets the foreigner know that he is familiar with his country by making small talk like, “when I was in your country” or “your team did well” etc. Now, we Indians are generally aware and that helps. The objective of this small talk is to let the foreigner know that he is amongst knowledgeable people and not in the company of some ignorant cavemen

As the conversation gathers momentum, the protagonist wants to make the foreign guest even more comfortable. Encouraged, he now goes to the next level by making a vague reference to things or places about that country about which even the foreigner is sure to have no clue! It is like asking an Indian from Guwahati, “have you ever gone to the corner shop at the entrance of Chor Bazaar in Mumbai? “

The foreigner, who is by now genuinely impressed, makes a few polite references to India. But the protagonist will have none of that. He now launches into cruise mode where he wants to showcase his closeness with his foreign friend to all.  He becomes over friendly and starts praising almost everything and anything about that country. Metaphorically, he launches into how good is the color, the shape, the size, the taste, the skin, the seed, the pulp, the everything about the “California Orange”!!!!

It’s all right up to this point. There is nothing wrong in praising something. It’s quite healthy actually. But here is where he tips over. He brings in the “Nagpur Orange” in the conversation. He now starts a disparaging diatribe against his own country! Critical of almost everything that is to do with India, he takes this act of self-deprecation, especially in front of a foreigner, to an art form

Never mind if the total size and population of that country is exactly half that of a single municipal ward of an average Indian city. But still, according to the protagonist, India can learn a thing or two about managing its anthropological complexities from that country. Or, never mind that that country may be under an oppressive and fanatical religious monarchy or a malevolent dictatorship for the last hundred years and that its citizens don’t know a voting booth from a public toilet, but yet India can learn few things about democracy and governance from that great country. Or, so what if that country has been racially prejudiced or has been shamelessly colonizing or repeatedly puncturing the earth’s surface with dastardly weapons of war.  So what? India should take some lessons in diplomacy from that country!

Mind you, by now a few drinks have taken their effect and the protagonists accent has changed.  It is a heady mix of his native English, wannabe Hollywood drawl and inebriated slur…and his attempt at disparaging his own country in order to gain acceptance of his new found friend is in a mellifluous flow!

And the Irony of all this is that the foreign guest is flummoxed! He doesn’t know what hit him. Hadn’t he heard and read so many good things about this great country? Isn’t that the reason he came here to experience it himself? In fact he likes the “Nagpur Orange”!

Why do we do this? Why is it that the moment we are in the midst of a foreigner we start disparaging our country? Why the anxiety to appear knowledgeable? Why the hunger to belong at any cost? Is it some deep-seated inferiority complex? Why this lack of self-respect?

Agreed, the “California Orange” may look good, but the peel the “Nagpur Orange” and inside the rustic and pockmarked exterior you will experience the most heavenly, sweet and juicy pulp that we have liked since childhood. So let us not insult it at least

And even those obsessed with the “California Orange”, in the end, despite all the insults, they are sure to succumb to the sweetness of the “Nagpur Orange”

PS: Probably the “Orange” advertisement turned out be a “Lemon” and was withdrawn! I don’t see it anymore. I am sure at least some Indians found it annoying!!